Toilet Paper Emporium
Toilet Paper for Every Character.
From philosophers to programmers—find your roll. Rock on.
Shop the RollsUnleash the Metal Within
Hardcore Toilet Paper Varieties
Only the bold survive. These rolls are forged in the fires of rock, built to handle your wildest gigs and toughest mornings. Dare to wipe like a legend.
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Budget Bruiser
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Rough and ready. No frills, all backbone—this roll stands tall through the grind of everyday mayhem. Shreds the basics, not your standards.
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Velvet Thunder
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Ultra-soft with a core of steel. For those who demand decadence and dominance—wipe like a rock god on a world tour.
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Philosopher's Riff
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Contemplate the void and unleash your inner riffmaster. Intense, resilient, and deep—this roll is for thinkers who rock hard.
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Code & Survive
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For hackers and wild ones. Engineered for the apocalypse—bug-free, tear-resistant, and ready to rock the elements.
PRICING
Pick a roll, any roll
From raw to refined—unleash your inner beast. Choose your roll and let the comfort (and chaos) begin.
Basic Roll
$1 /roll
No frills, all function. For those who rock the basics and take no prisoners.
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1-ply—metal, not mellow
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Cheaper than a band t-shirt
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100 sheets—pure grit
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No scent, just attitude
Premium Plush
$8 /roll
Luxury for the legends. Maximum comfort, maximum power. Because your throne deserves a crown.
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4-ply—built like a fortress
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Hypoallergenic, ultra-soft—velvet hammer
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Infused with aloe & chamomile—battle ready
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So soft, you’ll write a power ballad
Themed Rolls
$4 /roll
Unleash your wild side—philosopher, coder, or survivalist. These rolls don’t quit until the encore.
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Quirky prints—stage presence
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2-ply—solid as a riff
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Unique for thinkers & headbangers
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Limited runs—collect them all